After a quick trip through Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont, we reentered Canada below Montreal. Ycch…another perilous border crossing, and stupidly on a Friday night. Mainly Quebecois heading home, they brought us to a standstill for an hour. Passengers were out of their vehicles, picnicking, riding skateboards, and throwing frisbees and footballs across the freeway. The delay was made more tolerable by the antics of a wonderful Jack Russell Terrier who chased a speedy remote control toy car all over the center divide throughout the delay. I guess he thought it was a rat, and he did not give up. Tenacious critters, those terriers.

During our earlier crossing near Ottowa, the Canadian Border Authority stopped us for a “Customs” issue; they clearly thought we were drug mules and searched the Roadtrek carefully for an hour, but were very welcoming once the search was completed. This time they stopped us for an “Immigration” issue. The dialogue between me and the border agent went like this:

Agent (hereafter “A”): Why EVER would you stay in the Canadian Atlantic Maritime Provinces for three months?

Sally (hereafter “S”): We hate heat and humidity.

A: Why did you only return to the U.S. for 10 days?

S: Steven had business in California, and could not fly out of Canada on his expired U.S. passport.

A. What are your occupations?

S: I am a retired lawyer, and he is a retired engineer.

A: Are you carrying over $10,000 Dollars in Canadian currency into the country?

S: No. Four credit cards with $26,000 limits on each.

A: What valuable assets do you carry in the vehicle?

S: The dog. (He didn’t even crack a smile at this…)

A: What assets do you have in the United States?

S: We both own homes, and have investment portfolios.

A: What is the value of your homes?

S: (WTF????..No, we didn’t really say that, exercising great self control). $600,000 each. What EXACTLY is your concern here?

A: Clearly you are not coming here to look for work so I am concerned that you don’t have sufficient assets to support yourself….you know, to… to …SLEEP… in Canada. What is the source of your income?

S: We both have pensions.

A: (a long glare with narrowed eyes, and then….) Okay. You’re free to go. (and he never cracked a smile…)

We have pondered this interrogation and decided that we either look like bums and should clean the exterior of the van and the bikes, and dress up a bit before we cross the border, or more likely, we drive too small and old an RV, as we doubt that he would have such a conversation with the driver of a 40 foot long RV worth $150,000. Perhaps it is an anti-California bias, or he hated my blue toenail polish and Steven’s pierced ear. Actually, he as much as told us we were suspicious because…who would leave the great weather of California to stay amid the icebergs, rain, and fog in the Maritime Provinces? That would be us, your stealth camping worst nightmares. We don’t expect this level of suspicion when we cross into Canada to enter British Columbia and Alberta during the Autumn. They are way more used to West Coast Weirdos…they have a few of their own.

It was an epic battle, like Good v. Evil:  Sally and Steven v. Ben and Jerry. Trying out a vegan diet, we met our nemesis, real ice cream. Let’s face it….soy ice cream sucks. So does coconut, almond and every other non-dairy version we have tried. I will tell you that we had to rely on the psychological defenses of 1) Denial (“it won’t taste as good as you imagine…”), and 2) Sublimation (“that bike ride out the Marble Causeway to the Bike Ferry is going to be awesome!”). We won…this round anyway. However, Ben and Jerry’s, Hagen Daz, Double Rainbow, Magnum, and Godiva have not left the planet. The next squirmish is on the horizon…

Although Ben and Jerry’s founded their business here in 1978 in a former gas station, there is more than ice cream to enjoy during a summer visit. The dining tables on Church Street pedestrian mall are bursting with diners. Everybody is happy. They probably just came from the Waterfront on Lake Champlain where people practiced dance routines, martial arts, 2 on 2 volleyball, frisbee golf, and all manner of ball games. We joined the happy bikers who rode the 24 mile roundtrip out the Marble Causeway. It seems to come to an end at a waterway with boat traffic moving between different parts of the large lake. But, no! Friday through Sunday you jump on the BIKE FERRY for a 60 second ride to the next island, South Horn and more bike trails. How cool is that? Even our international biking buddies Ricka and Dave have never ridden a designated bike ferry. Hey guys, add this to your life list!

We have managed small day hikes on parts of the Appalachian Trail (the “AT”) as we have headed up the East Coast from Georgia this last year. Sometimes we hiked in snow (Virginia), sometimes without a trail while walking on the same Appalachian Mountain ridge in Newfoundland, and finally, the windiest part of the trail, at the top of Mt. Washington, in the Presidential Range of the White Mountains of New Hampshire. We met amazing hikers, starting on their last leg as they head up the AT to Northern Maine, having started in Georgia early last spring. These guys caught all of the long cold winter this year, every bit of it. We don’t get to complain.

 Mt. Washington is one of the most extraordinary places on earth. The highest recorded surface wind speeds were measured here on April 4th, 1934:  234 m.p.h. Mostly the wind is about 35 m.p.h., but over 100 days/year the wind reaches hurricane velocity, over 75 m.p.h. Although it is only 6,000 feet in elevation at the top, it sits in a “Perfect Storm” location. Treeline on the mountain is 4500 feet, whereas treeline in the Colorado Rockies with lots of 14,000 foot peaks, sits at 11,000 feet. It snows every month of the year here…except July 2013. We hit the mountain on the last day of July, and experienced the very rare, perfect weather. As the mountain is obscured with clouds 60% of daylight hours, we really lucked out! Maximum visibility allows views to Mt. Marcy in Maine and peaks in New York. The snows create drifts that tower over 18 stories high in the Tuckerman Ravine, and routinely scoured the asphalt off the access road so that parts of the road are never paved anymore.

Until 13 years ago when Everest ascents became even a newbie climbers’ reality (…along with their frozen coffins), Mt. Washington reported more fatalities each year than Everest. This year two fatalities occurred to experienced ice/rock climbers, while 30 successful rescues kept the fatalities down. The weather is so nasty that typical hiker rock cairns placed within eyesight of the last cairn, are placed only 8-10 feet apart here, anticipating near zero visibility. The experience up here was chilling, both in teaching respect for severe elements, and literally chilling as the Peak was a brisk 44 degrees for us, while the bottom of the mountain, was 81 degrees. I guess we just found another great way to beat the East Coast heat and humidity in summer.

We did a hike on the Flume Trail and visited The Basin in Franconia Notch State Park. It was a pretty walk in the woods, by a steep rushing creek carving deep vertical walls through the rock, until it screamed through polished banked corners, like waterpark rides. A nice stop but we couldn’t stop looking up to see if we could catch a last glimpse of Mt. Washington.

After 3 months in the Canadian Atlantic Maritime Provinces, we had to leave our July rental in Halifax, Nova Scotia a week early to get Steven to the U.S. to fly home. He spent two days in Berkeley on business and arrived back in Portland, Maine exhausted. Our American Consulate in Halifax, Nova Scotia explained that as “visitors”, not residents in Canada, we were low priority for an appointment with the Consular Notary…and, “Maybe in three weeks we can get you an appointment”. Unfortunately, the only valid Notary Stamp from outside the U.S. is a Consular Notary.  A bizarre response; when I used the Consulate for Notary Public services several times in Nuevo Vallarto, Nayarit, Mexico in 2009, the staff was extremely accommodating, because after all, they work for us.

“Down East” was a mariner’s description of the Maine ports from Penobscot Bay to the Canadian Border. They are both downwind and in an easterly direction leaving the port of Boston. In spite of gorgeous rocky coastlines in New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland and Labrador, we had to visit our own homegrown version, Acadia National Park. We viewed the lovely islands from atop Cadillac Mountain, and enjoyed the beaches, car-free carriage roads, and winding roadways…and found it no different from the Canadian Maritimes… other than a lot more crowded! However, we also enjoyed the far cheaper sales tax, booze, and fuel prices. We already knew from the Canadian fishermen that the lobster catch was enormous this year, driving prices down to $4 for each 1 lb. lobster. We are sorry that we did not get to explore the Great North Woods that covers much of Maine. Perhaps, if you really like to shop on vacation, and don’t want to cross the border to enjoy the quiet beauty of the Canadian Atlantic Maritimes? Go “Down East”, young man.

Portland, Maine and our friends Camille and Scott, their organic garden, and hot showers were calling. It is always hard for us to separate our enjoyment of a city, from our enjoyment of our friends there, especially old family friends who became molto simpatico new buddies on this visit. Yep, we loved walking this small city with curvy, eccentric back streets like Boston, enjoyed bike trails to lighthouses and Prouty’s Neck, and stops at rocky beaches.

We wished we had a boat with an engine to go visit some of the Casco Bay “Calendar Islands” (because there are 365 of them). Our kayak would be no match for the ocean kayaking conditions here. We got a hoot out of the biggest digital sign, on the tallest building in Portland with the message, “Call Joe”. No one we asked knows exactly who Joe is, just believing the urban myth that he is an ambulance chasing plaintiffs attorney. Not such a good marketing device if no one knows how to “Call Joe”.